Posted by: Deena | July 5, 2009

Honesty and lol

I am very into honesty. I will go to great lengths to make sure what comes out of my mouth is true. It can be stressful and difficult but I really believe in the importance of being honest.

My honesty extends past the words that leave my mouth to those that are expressed through my writing. Lately I’ve spoken to a couple of people about the expression “lol.” It stands for laugh out loud and it’s a great phrase to use in all the internet communication (email, chat and facebooking). I only write it when I did, in fact, laugh out loud. I get the feeling that not everyone takes this phrase as seriously as I do.

Do you use the term losely or only when you really did lol?

Posted by: Deena | June 28, 2009

Weird goes with talent

Maybe it’s partially a self-fulfilling prophecy but I do believe that, for the most part, it’s quite clear that the more talented you are, the weirder you are. Geniuses are usually at least a little awkward, if not totally socially inept. The most famous composers almost always led strange, and at least somewhat immoral, lives.

Michael Jackson was no different. It’s almost like we have a theoretical choice between having weirdos and unbelievable talent that touches our souls in ways nothing else does, or neither.

When I watch Michael sing and dance, it’s 100% apparent that he was of extreme talent. The way he moved was so unique. The way he sang, the same! His sense of music and rhythm was extraordinary. And he performed with such fervor and passion.

Watch the “We are the world” video here.

Here’s another one of his performances. Amazing. Man in the mirror

Posted by: Deena | June 28, 2009

Do I need rain?

I live in a city that, if we go weeks without rain, that is a strange event. Right now it’s raining and it’s just the most calming thing for me, sitting here in my apartment, my window opened a crack, with the sound of the rain coming in.

I don’t know if I could live in a place that doesn’t get one drop of rain most of the year. Rain makes me feel like everything is going to be OK.

My friend also just wrote about rain. Read it here.

I was just thinking about how blessed I am with my job at the adult day centre. The point of my job is to be with the people. Yes, we have lots of programs to fill up the day and make it interesting and enjoyable, but still, the point of me being there is to be with the clients and it is my personality that makes it work.

I was thinking about it right now because tomorrow I’m not actually running any programs so I was thinking about what my purpose is, then, of being there, and it’s really quite simple. I’m there in order to be there. Be caring and loving and shmooz a lot.

I really do love the clients and look forward to seeing them. Because it is not a one-way road in any shape or form. I get so much love and care back. I get so much appreciation from the clients that a typical day means I leave happier than I arrived in the morning and I got so many smiles and laughs and thank yous and compliments.

Thank God.

Posted by: Deena | June 17, 2009

Worth the pain

I was recently talking to a friend about how some pains we lovingly accept because we see it as one side of a coin, with a certain goodness on the flip side of that coin.

Someone else recently said to me that she truly believes that bad things in this world are bad. Period. Don’t try to tell her, “Oh, it’s for the best,” or whatever.

I think these two work together. The fact that sometimes we know that if we needed to choose, we’d choose the pain rather than not, doesn’t mean the pain isn’t bad.

The thing is that certain pains don’t feel as bad because we know why it’s “worth” it. And I guess that the more we can figure out why a pain is “worth” it, the happier we’ll be.

Posted by: Deena | June 12, 2009

What an honour

Imagine being one of the first people to hear such a famous song. And then years and years later you realize what an honour it was to be sitting in that small room with, say, Simon and Garfunkel, as they shared their then new music with you.

There are Simon and Garfunkels of 2009 and some of us are getting that honour. It’s just a matter of being aware of it.

One more thought: Isn’t it funny how the audience in this video sit so quietly and still? It actually makes me uncomfortable. : ) Oh how things have changed.

Here’s the same song sung live in 2003.

Posted by: Deena | June 12, 2009

wears her heart on her blog

You know when you think you’re just the greatest genius? Yup. Me, right here.

I just changed the subheader of my blog. It used to say, “thoughts from a thinker,” which I really like. But now I changed it to, “wears her heart on her blog.”

Cute.

Posted by: Deena | June 11, 2009

I’m sick of a lot of things

Watch out, folks. I feel myself changing… Well, I hope so. I’m so ready to change. It’s actually very personal and I’m contemplating if I’m willing to share it here right now. But I am sick of things as they are and I’m in f- it mode. I just don’t yet have the guts to write the whole word out right here right now.

OK, I can’t write any more right now.

Posted by: Deena | June 9, 2009

Who’s undeserving of respect?

At what point is a person no longer deserving of respect? If they think bad thoughts, is that enough? Can’t be because 99.999% of us do that.

How about if we do something bad? Well, again, none of us is perfect so that would make none of us deserving of respect. So then maybe it depends how bad the thing is that the person did. Makes sense, right? Except where’s the switch-over mark on the scale of bad deeds? And, it would make sense for it to be relative to the person doing the bad deed, right? As we know, different deeds hold different weight depending on the person doing them.

So does that mean that by default we should try to respect almost everyone because we can’t know exactly what the person did or what that action means to that person?

That doesn’t make sense to me because so many people don’t seem respectable.

Ah, but I suppose that is my perception.

My name is Deena Malka. Such an intense name. Deena means justice and malka means queen. Sometimes I get the urge to add a softer name to my given names in order to balance my personality. I can be so harsh. But then I think that maybe I should just work with what I have. Judgement can have chesed (kindness) in it. A queen can be a loving and caring queen. I want to foster those. And I want to be able to see the respectability apparent in people more easily and be more understanding of others.

And, of course, all this goes for myself too. I want to foster the kinder, more loving and caring sides of my names in my relationship with myself.

Posted by: Deena | June 9, 2009

I am a rock I am a diamond

Not sure you realize this, that I’m a diamond. A diamond, when discovered, is shined and cherished. It is often set in gold.

But until it’s discovered it’s buried deep in dirt. I suppose the dirt protects it but it is definitely not a place of honour. Sometimes it is discovered but still not loved properly, either because the person already has lots of diamonds so one more, as beautiful as it may be, doesn’t seem important to him. Otherwise, he just doesn’t understand the worth of a diamond. Or, where he is from, diamonds aren’t considered precious.

So, that’s me. I’m in the dirt or owned by someone who doesn’t get how precious I am. I can just hope that one day I will be discovered for the gem that I am.

Listen to the song, “I am a rock.”

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